Out of the Wings

Llueven vacas (c.2008), Carlos Be

It's Raining Cows : ACT ONE Scene One , ACT ONE Scene Five , ACT TWO Scene One , ACT TWO Scene Three , ACT TWO Scene Four

It's Raining Cows, translated by Susanna Herbert

ACT ONE Scene One

Context:

This is the beginning of the play. It establishes the mix of the normal and the strange running throughout, as well as the often-unnerving dynamic between the dominant Fernando and his wife Margaret.

Sample text

FERNANDO:: Honey!
MARGARET:: What is it?
FERNANDO:: Come here! It’s raining cows!
MARGARET:: Don’t be silly.
FERNANDO:: Yes, woman. It’s raining cows. Look!
MARGARET:: You’re right!
FERNANDO:: Look at that enormous one. It’s huge.
MARGARET:: The black and…?
FERNANDO:: No, the one next to it. Now it’s gone. They’re falling so quickly.
MARGARET:: I’ll go and get my raincoat.
FERNANDO:: You’re not going out in this weather? At least grab the shotgun.
MARGARET:: Where did you leave the raincoat? I can’t…
FERNANDO:: Where I always leave it, honey. Right there.
MARGARET:: It’s not there.
FERNANDO:: Why the hell did I marry you? You can’t even keep the house in order.
MARGARET:: Ah yes, here it is.
FERNANDO:: Don’t forget to take the shotgun out with you.
MARGARET:: What for? It’s not loaded.
FERNANDO:: So that you don’t fall over. You can use it as a crutch. Remember, you’ve only got one leg.
MARGARET:: Oh. Really?
FERNANDO:: You see! You’ve gone and forgotten again! You are getting more and more absentminded …
MARGARET:: Oh yes, you’re right. I have lost a leg. When did I lose it?
FERNANDO:: I am fed up with …
MARGARET:: Don’t get angry.
FERNANDO:: You’re driving me mad!
MARGARET:: Now I remember! In the accident!
FERNANDO:: In the accident. What?
MARGARET:: I lost my leg in the accident.
FERNANDO:: Which one?
MARGARET:: Erm … well, the right one, wasn’t it? No, the left one! No, the right one! Yes, the right one!

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation It's Raining Cows by Susanna Herbert is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT ONE Scene Five

Context:

Margaret has had the temerity to ask Fernando about their love life. This enrages him. His thoughts appear in italics.

Sample text

MARGARET:: I’m sorry. I’m sor…; You’ve earned it now. This time I’ll only strike you across the face. To make you understand. Get it into your head. Make you understand that I’m showing restraint. Next time …
MARGARET:: I’m sorry.
FERNANDO:: Stop now!
MARGARET:: You’re scaring me!
FERNANDO:: I’m scaring you? You’re scaring yourself!
MARGARET:: I’m sorry …
FERNANDO:: You don’t show me any consideration! I don’t know how I put up with you! I must have the patience of a … Don’t you appreciate everything I do for you? Do I have to remind you? How silly of me, of course I have to remind you, you forget everything.
MARGARET:: Yes.
FERNANDO:: Yes, what?
MARGARET:: Yes, I remember?
FERNANDO:: You’re not even ill. Irresponsible is what you are. A little child. Like no one else in the world. And me? That patience of a saint I have, looking after you, your life … Have you ever once thought about how hard it is living two lives … Mine and yours? How could you have thought about it – you never think.
MARGARET:: I’m a fool.
FERNANDO:: That’s putting it lightly! All of your irresponsibility becomes an extra responsibility for me! And if anyone dares say that I don’t try hard I’ll kill them. And do you know why I do it? Do you know? Or have you forgotten that as well!?
MARGARET:: Because you love me.
FERNANDO:: ‘Because you love me’, yes! And this is how you repay me?
MARGARET:: I’m bad.
FERNANDO:: And inconsiderate. And the weak link. It’s your fault that we fight. Like now. All these arguments are your fault. Don’t you see? You’re always wrong. We’re married, Margaret! We’re husband and wife. We gave our life to each other! And you fill me with … With … !
MARGARET:: Pain.
FERNANDO:: Anger! Responsibilities, sacrifices, demands! You don’t understand what a hard time I have! I’m not your father!

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation It's Raining Cows by Susanna Herbert is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT TWO Scene One

Context:

Coral has come to stay with the couple. Fernando’s thoughts (in italics) show that he prefers Coral to Margaret. Even so, he is also capable of treating Coral cruelly.

Sample text

FERNANDO:: We need to change your diet. No meat …
MARGARET:: Oysters are meat!
FERNANDO:: What are you talking about? Oysters are shellfish. Seafood.
CORAL:: Of course they are.
FERNANDO:: Coral is vegetarian. If oysters were meat, Coral wouldn’t eat them. We all know that, honey.
CORAL:: Yes, he’s right.
MARGARET:: You’re right.
CORAL:: And anyway, they were delicious.
FERNANDO:: So don’t complain. You are tired because you ate so little yesterday. That’s why you’re tired. If you don’t listen to me, you have to accept the consequences. If you’re tired, be tired. You’ll eat properly another day.
MARGARET:: On top of that, you made a lot of noise.
FERNANDO:: We did? When?
MARGARET:: Last night.
CORAL:: We tried not to be noisy.
MARGARET:: Weren’t you talking very late?
CORAL:: Nooooo.
MARGARET:: It seemed like it to me … From the rug … Yes, you must have slept a little. You don’t seem as tired as I do. You even look fresh. The bed is very comfy, isn’t it?
CORAL:: Very.
FERNANDO:: Maybe you couldn’t sleep very well because of all the excitement yesterday. Having a guest in the house …
MARGARET:: That as well. How exciting.
FERNANDO:: Sometimes you only see the negative things, honey. It’s tiring, being so pessimistic. Coral on the other hand is so happy.; Coral smiles.
CORAL:: Thank you. I know. And if for any reason I do feel a bit sad, I start dancing.
FERNANDO:: Shall we dance?
CORAL:: Now? Yes!
MARGARET:: Erm …
FERNANDO:: Put some music on honey.
MARGARET:: What music?; I hold Coral by the waist.
FERNANDO:: Whatever you like, darling.
MARGARET:: Oh really? You’ll let me choose?
FERNANDO:: Come on.; You’re taking your time.
FERNANDO:: Sometime today!
MARGARET:: OK.; I don’t know this song. It looks like Coral does. She starts dancing. She dances so well. She moves so well.
FERNANDO:: Honey, come and dance with us.; Come closer. That’s right. Careful, don’t come too close, you’re going to hit us in the ankles with the side of the platform. You dance. As close as you can get to us, but so far away. So low down. Coral hugs me. Her arms on my shoulders. She smells so good. Are you worn out already? Of course, you were tired before. Back off, don’t be a nuisance, the music’s heating up. The song’s finished already? Coral smiles. She looks at me intensely. We … Why are you clapping now!?
MARGARET:: You dance so well! It’s lovely to watch you!
CORAL:: Thank you, honey.; A slap. Coral wasn’t expecting it. She looks at me angrily, I’ve left five fingermarks on her face.
FERNANDO:: Don’t call her honey! Only I call her honey! Don’t look at me like that!
CORAL:: I’m sorry.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation It's Raining Cows by Susanna Herbert is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT TWO Scene Three

Context:

Fernando convinces Margaret that she is dying. As an obedient wife, she duly does so. Fernando’s thoughts are in italics.

Sample text

FERNANDO:: You’re going to die.
MARGARET:: No!
FERNANDO:: What do you mean, ‘No’?
MARGARET:: No … I can’t see the cows.
FERNANDO:: Well, you’d better see them. You’re at your funeral.; You stutter. You don’t know what to say.
FERNANDO:: Get out of the way!; I throw Coral to one side.
FERNANDO:: Can you see them now?; You scan the window.
FERNANDO:: The rain’s coming down harder.
MARGARET:: Yes. I saw something. It looked like one. A cow falling from the clouds.; Your face changes. A smile radiates across your face. A slither of wrapping paper.
FERNANDO:: You’re going to die, honey, so that you know.
MARGARET:: How?
FERNANDO:: How?
MARGARET:: Yes. How? Help me.
FERNANDO:: You want me to help you?
MARGARET:: Yes, I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to do it. I’ve never done it before.
FERNANDO:: The flowers. Around you. And the cows. It’s raining cows. You have to be happy. Are you?
MARGARET:: Yes … Almost.
FERNANDO:: Almost? What do you need?
MARGARET:: Could you give me a kiss?
FERNANDO:: When you’re cold.
MARGARET:: No, now. Before I die. So that I can feel you.; No … I come closer.
MARGARET:: Wait.; You look at me.
MARGARET:: Fernando …
FERNANDO:: What?
MARGARET:: It’s raining cows.; You close your eyes. You are crying.
FERNANDO:: And I am too.; You purse your lips. I lean towards you. I kiss you.
FERNANDO:: You’re dead. Don’t cry. You can’t cry if you’re dead.; You wipe away your tears and you nod.
FERNANDO:: You can die. You can die for me. Just so you know. You can really die.; You die. You have died. You’re dead.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation It's Raining Cows by Susanna Herbert is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT TWO Scene Four

Context:

Margaret lies supposedly dead on the floor. We are unsure whether she truly is dead, or because Fernando has convinced her she has died. Coral is jealous of Margaret’s continuing presence. Fernando’s thought are in italics.

Sample text

CORAL:: Darling …
FERNANDO:: What?
CORAL:: Nothing.
FERNANDO:: Of course.
CORAL:: I would like you to think about me. It’s time to think about the living, not the dead. You’ve spent days like this …
FERNANDO:: She was …
CORAL:: Not anymore.
FERNANDO:: You’re so wise when you want to be, although with that face you look like a whore.; You go out to the bathroom.
CORAL:: Just as long as you know that I still think we should bury her!; You still raise your voice. It’s a question of time. I approach the body. It’s not decomposing. It’s not getting cold. It’s like Margaret but without any life.
FERNANDO:: Honey …; I feel like the body is shivering. I wipe a tear from it.
FERNANDO:: It will always rain cows.; I kiss her …
CORAL:: What are you doing?; You just caught me. You’ve caught me. I don’t care.
FERNANDO:: I’m going into town. Do you need anything?
CORAL:: Can I come with you?
FERNANDO:: No.
CORAL:: Are you going to see the lawyer?
FERNANDO:: Yes. To see once and for all whether he can sort out the insurance. I’ll need to have evidence of food poisoning … And the will, of course.
CORAL:: I could help you …
FERNANDO:: No.
CORAL:: But …
FERNANDO:: Coral, that’s enough!; I leave. I know you can’t stand the body being there. I shouldn’t have left you alone. Not so soon. I’ll regret it later … I half turn around and I look just in time. You’re strangling the body, which is convulsing, terrified. I can’t do anything. Somehow I know that it’s unavoidable. It had to happen. Sooner or later. You release the inert body. It turns cold. Then you see me looking at you from the doorway.
CORAL:: Sorry … I need you to love me more …

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