Noel Road 25: a genius like us

Edition

Be, Carlos. n.d. 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us, trans. Berni Armstrong. Available for download on Carlos Be’s website at http://carlosbe.blogspot.com/2011/01/noel-road-25-genius-like-us.html. Available for download on the Catalandrama website at http://www.catalandrama.cat/obras/noel-road-25-a-genius-like-us [both accessed November 2011] (Online Publication)

Context:

This is the beginning of the play. Ken has murdered Joe. He then killed himself. Ken talks about what happened at their funerals.

Sample text

Joe is lying dead on the floor, wrapped in the mat. From the position of the body, we can guess he has suffered a violent death. His feet, wearing sports socks, stick out at one end.

The music comes to an end.

Ken: They put us in the same urn. Joe. And me. We were just ashes mixed together. But not half and half. There was more of Joe. The funeral service made a balls up. Instead of putting one spoonful of him, then one of me, they lost count. Even in death he had to be more than me.

They scattered our ashes in the Golders Green Gardens, quite a dreary spot, truth be told. There were two separate funerals. Loads of people went to Joe’s: writers, famous actors, the press ... They cried over him and recited poetry ... They even wrote him an elegy. And they played his favourite song, A Day in the Life. Only four people went to my funeral. And no song was played. Because nobody knew

my tastes. Nobody except Joe.

I suppose none of this should bother me. In fact, before we even got to the crematorium, Joe and I had long gone. We were in hell ... Yes, both of us. Me for the murder I’d committed. And he for the just rewards of a whole life.

My little hell ... I even had to share my little hell with someone who had hurt me so much in life; if you can call it a life, after what I suffered. It’d be better to describe it as a living death. The life of a zombie.

The first thing Joe asked me when he got to hell was how he had died. I lied to him. I didn't tell him that it was me who bashed his head in with a hammer, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine times. I lied to him.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us by Berni Armstrong is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Edition

Be, Carlos. n.d. 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us, trans. Berni Armstrong. Available for download on Carlos Be’s website at http://carlosbe.blogspot.com/2011/01/noel-road-25-genius-like-us.html. Available for download on the Catalandrama website at http://www.catalandrama.cat/obras/noel-road-25-a-genius-like-us [both accessed November 2011] (Online Publication)

Context:

Ken and Joe argue, just as they will do throughout the play.

Sample text

Joe arrives.
Joe:: Ken ...
Ken:: What?
Joe:: When did you say you were going to kill me?
Ken:: Today. Yesterday ... Is it dawn already?
Joe:: No, when are you going to do it? Which day?
Ken:: Are you in a hurry? When did you arrive? Hand us a fag, go on.
Joe:: The hammer’s not in the toolbox.
Ken:: That's because it’s somewhere else.
Joe:: Have you taken the hammer?
Ken:: Leave it out! I'm not going to kill you ... And get away from me. You stink like the gents! I'm scared of death.
Joe:: You leave me speechless.
Ken:: Without you, what would become of me?
Joe:: Coward ...
Ken:: Joe. You're famous ... I’m ...
Joe:: I don't know where you're going with this ...
Ken:: I made you famous. I've been behind every line you've written. And you've taken all the glory. You haven't even left me the crumbs.
Joe:: And if you kill me, you won't have any artwork left.
Ken:: Like a painter burning his retrospective exhibition.
Joe:: All the more reason to slash your wrists, mate. Without me, you're nobody.
Ken:: Son of a bitch!
Joe:: Well alright, you are somebody. You’re a fucking coward!
Ken:: I don't want to be a nobody, not in life, nor in death!
Joe:: You will be remembered as the man who loved the great English playwright Joe ...
Ken:: That's a lie!
Joe:: Of course it is! I have never loved you!

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us by Berni Armstrong is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Edition

Be, Carlos. n.d. 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us, trans. Berni Armstrong. Available for download on Carlos Be’s website at http://carlosbe.blogspot.com/2011/01/noel-road-25-genius-like-us.html. Available for download on the Catalandrama website at http://www.catalandrama.cat/obras/noel-road-25-a-genius-like-us [both accessed November 2011] (Online Publication)

Context:

After arguments and sexual power play, Ken and Joe remember a happier time when they first met.

Sample text

Ken:

He was 18.

I was 25.

We met at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. Joe was like an innocent young kitten; he hadn't learned to sharpen his claws yet ... After six months we dropped out of RADA and started living together, as friends, in a small austere flat at number 25 Noel Road. We would never leave it.

We became lovers there. Our first amorous dabbling. Well, to tell you the truth, mine. He lost his virginity at 14 in a Cinema. My Favourite Brunette was on. I remember the first time we made love; it was the day of the Coronation. Like Queen Elizabeth, I spent the day with my legs open.

Joe sits up.

Joe:

The BBC was broadcasting the ceremony.

Ken:

We saw it together.

Joe:

Lying in bed.

Ken:

I couldn’t stand it any longer!

Joe:

I looked at you out of the corner of my eye.

Ken:

You didn't move.

Joe:

No.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation 25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us by Berni Armstrong is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Out of the Wings

You are here:

Noel Road 25: a genius like us (2001), Carlos Be

25 Noel Road: A Genius Like Us, translated by Berni Armstrong

SCENE ONE: POST MORTEM

SCENE THREE: LA MAMMA MORTA I

SCENE FIVE: SECOND TIME, PAST

Authors, Plays & Translators