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• Three Top Hats : ACT ONE excerpt 1 , ACT ONE excerpt 2 , ACT ONE excerpt 3 , ACT TWO

Three Top Hats, translated by Gwynneth Dowling

ACT ONE excerpt 1

Context:

This excerpt takes place near the beginning of act 1. Dionisio has just arrived at the hotel where he will be spending his final night as a bachelor. He has been there before, and converses with owner, Don Rosario, about this man's renowned hospitality and care for his guests.

Sample text

DON ROSARIO:

You know me, Dionisio, sir. I can’t help it. It’s the way I am. I just can’t do enough for my guests ...

DIONISIO:

That may well be, but you do too much for us ... I mean, when it’s cold you give us hot water bottles – it’s too much. You get into bed to warm us when we’ve a chill coming on; you kiss us goodbye when we leave. And you play lullabies on your little trumpet when we can’t sleep. You’re too kind! People take advantage of you!

DON ROSARIO:

Poor lambs. Leave them be ... nearly everyone who stays here is a traveller, on business, an artist ... Lonely men ... Motherless men ... I just want to be a father to them all, especially since I can’t be one to my own poor boy/ My little boy who drowned in a well! (He gets upset.)

DIONISIO:

Come on, Don Rosario ... don’t upset yourself ...

DON ROSARIO:

You already know the story of my poor boy who drowned in the well.

DIONISIO:

Yes, I know. He leant in to catch a frog and fell. Splash! And that was it!

DON ROSARIO:

That’s it, Dionisio, sir. Splash! And that was it! (Awkward pause.)

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three Top Hats by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT ONE excerpt 2

Context:

This excerpt also takes place in Dionisio’s hotel room near the beginning of the play. It introduces to the audience the three top hats that Dionisio has brought with him and that will be the source of confusion leading to his temporary engagement with Paula’s world.

Sample text

DON ROSARIO: (Pointing at a hatbox.)

What have you got here, Dionisio sir?

DIONISIO:

It’s a top hat for the wedding. (He takes it out.) My father-in-law gave me this today as a present. He wore it when he was Mayor. I’ve two more that I bought myself. (He takes them out.) Take a look at them. They’re very smart. Very top-hatty ... you can tell they are top hats ... which is what I want ... But they don’t suit me ... (He tries them on in front of the mirror.) ... Look. This one is too small ... This one makes me look like I’ve a huge head ... And my fiancée says that this one makes me look like a lizard ...

DON ROSARIO:

Which kind? Common or lesser-spotted?

DIONISIO:

She just said a lizard.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three Top Hats by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT ONE excerpt 3

Context:

Paula has invaded Dionisio’s hotel room in an attempt to get away from Buby with whom she has been arguing. Buby has now also entered the room. Uncomfortable, Dionisio tries to make polite conversation to alleviate the tension.

Sample text

BUBY:

Evening.

DIONISIO:

Good evening.

PAULA: (Introducing DIONISIO.)

This gentleman juggles ...

BUBY:

Oh! A juggler!

PAULA:

He’s making his debut at the New Music Hall tomorrow. Like us. His daddy swallowed swords.

DIONISIO:

Forgive me if I don’t shake your hand ... (He still holds the hats in the same way as earlier.) My hands are full ... so I can’t.

BUBY: (Unenthusiastically.)

So you’re one of us. Get in here, Paula!

PAULA:

I’m not coming, Buby!

BUBY:

You’re not coming, Paula?

PAULA:

I’m not coming, Buby.

BUBY:

Well then I’m not going anywhere either, Paula.

(They sit on the bed, one on either side of DIONISIO, who is also seated and is becoming more and more embarrassed. BUBY starts to whistle an American tune, accompanied by his ukulele. PAULA joins in, as does DIONISIO. The song ends. Pause.)

DIONISIO: (Gallantly trying to break the awkward silence.)

So, have you been black for long?

BUBY:

Not sure. When I look in the mirror this is what looks back.

DIONISIO:

Gosh! Just when you think things can’t get any worse, no? What caused the blackness? Did you fall?

BUBY:

Must have been that, sir.

DIONISIO:

Off a bicycle?

BUBY:

That’s it, sir.

DIONISIO:

They shouldn’t let children buy bikes! Isn’t that right, Miss? I know a man who ...

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three Top Hats by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT TWO

Context:

This excerpt takes place near the end of act 2. Paula and Dionisio dream of building sandcastles on the beach.

Sample text

PAULA: (Tenderly.)

Dionisio ...

DIONISIO:

Yes?

PAULA:

Come and sit here ... beside me.

DIONISIO: (He sits down beside her.)

Well ...

PAULA:

I’m so glad we are friends. If you only knew how happy I’ve been since I met you! I felt so lonely before. You’re different from the rest. Sometimes when I’m with the others I get scared, but not with you. People can be so cruel ... my music-hall friends don’t behave like they should ... the gentlemen we meet outside the music-hall don’t behave like gentlemen ... (Distracted, DIONISIO picks up the rattle that has been left there and starts to shake it, very amused.) But you have to get on with people, don’t you? Because if not, there’s no champagne ... or pretty bracelets for my wrists. And champagne is so good! Bracelets cheer me up. It’s important to have fun. It’s so miserable being alone ... girls like me can die of loneliness in hotels like this ... I’m so glad we are friends. Shall we talk about you now?

DIONISIO:

Okay. But only for a little while.

PAULA:

No – all the time! We’ll always talk about you. It’s better like that ... It’s sad ... it’s sad that you’ll not be coming with us when our work here ends. It’s stupid that we have to part so soon, don’t you think? Unless you need an assistant for your act? Yes! Then we could be together for longer! I could learn to juggle, what do you think? I could learn to juggle with the three top hats!

(DIONISIO has taken the rattle apart. It no longer rattles. This makes him sad.)

DIONISIO:

It’s broken ...

PAULA: (Taking the rattle and fixing it.)

Like this. (She gives it back to DIONISIO, who continues to play with it, having a lot of fun.) What a pity you don’t need an assistant. Oh well. Let’s enjoy these few days together. I know! Tomorrow we’ll take a walk. Let’s go to the beach ... by the sea! Just us. Like two little children. You’re not like other men. And there’s no show until evening. We’ve all afternoon together! We’ll buy crab legs – do you know how to get the meat off the legs? I do. I’ll teach you ... we can eat them there on the sand, with the sea right in front of us. Do you like making sandcastles? It’s brilliant! I can make little castles with a drawbridge and a moat for the water. And I know how to make a volcano! You put paper inside it and burn it – and smoke comes out! Do you know how to make sand-volcanoes?

DIONISIO: (He has already abandoned the rattle and is slowly becoming more interested.)

Yes.

PAULA:

And sandcastles?

DIONISIO:

Yes.

PAULA:

With gardens?

DIONISIO:

Yes, with gardens. With trees and a fountain in the middle and a staircase with steps to get to the castle tower.

PAULA:

A sand-staircase? Oh, you are such a wonderful boy, Dionisio, I don’t know how to do that ...

DIONISIO:

I do. And I can make a sand-boat and a sand-train ... And sand-people! And a sand-lion.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three Top Hats by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Entry written by Gwynneth Dowling. Last updated on 13 November 2010.

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